Once
by literarylolita
Summary: River asks the Doctor a question. Takes place between The Snowmen and The Bells of St. John.


**A/N: This is my first attempt at Who fic. I am not from the U.K., I'm American, so go a little easy on me. ;) Reviews are appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or anything associated with it.**

"_Oh my Luve's like a red, red rose_

_That's newly sprung in June;_

_O my Luve's like the melodie_

_That's sweetly played in tune."_

_-Robert Burns_

"Doctor, have you ever been in love with anyone other than me?" River asks the question so non-chalantly she may as well be asking the Doctor if he prefers one or two sugars in his afternoon tea. She continues to pilot the TARDIS, not looking at her husband as he leans against the cool metal of the control room's walls.

The Doctor peers at her through Amy's glasses, considering the question. He of course knows the answer, he's The Doctor-that means he knows nearly everything there is to know in the universe. But being the Doctor also means being a stubborn git on occasion, so he skirts around his wife's question with a facetious one of his own. "I don't believe I've ever actually told you that I love you, River. Have I?"

River waves his words away. "We're married. It's implied."

The Doctor is used to River's invasive inquiries-she's asked him about everything from his childhood on Gallifrey to his countless near-death experiences. Surprisingly, he's always relented and answered her, either because he actually wanted to talk about his feelings for the first time in a millennia or he simply wanted to stop his wife's constant badgering.

But this was a different kind of question. One he wanted to answer about as much as he wanted to answer the countless humans, aliens, robots, and others who often asked him "Doctor Who?"

"Well?" River pries. She flies them into the Time Vortex and they stay there, floating, stagnant.

The Doctor ruminates for a moment and weighs his options before telling her. "Once. But I didn't have these eyes, nor these hearts."

"Ah," said River, understanding. "An earlier regeneration." She sits next to her husband, who for some reason, is unable to meet her eyes.

"Yes," responds the Doctor.

"Will you tell me about her?" River asks, not demands. Because she asks, the Doctor chooses to aquesque her request.

"It was just after the Time War." The Doctor stands and begins to nervously pace in circles around the control panel, bouncing on the balls of his feet in memory. "I met her purely by chance. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

_Or the right place in the right time, _the Doctor thinks with a soft smile on his lips.

"I saved the world," he continues. "Again. And she helped."

"Okay…" says River, confused. "That sounds like any other day with any other companion. What makes this girl, this-what did you say her name was?"

"I didn't," the Doctor answers abruptly. "Her name…was Rose." Even after all this time, he chokes on her name.

River could sense her husband was upset. "You don't have to continue, my love," she says. "We can talk about something else. Or stop talking…"

The Doctor gives her a sly smile. "Well, you know how much I love to talk."

"That I do. So tell me. Tell me about Rose. Tell me what made her special."

"Rose…" he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, fingers getting momentarily tangled in the strands. 'She was exactly what I needed. I was very different back then-in more ways than one-I was hard, cold even." He stops, considering. "She softened me, I suppose. "She was so naturally kind and-and good. Rose…Rose made me a better man." It's hard for him to admit that, but it's true nonetheless.

River notices a tear in the Doctor's eye, but she knows better than to think he will actually allow it to fall. "When did you fall in love with her?"

The Doctor takes in a sharp breath. It's hard to say- hard to remember the exact moment his hearts became Rose's.

Was it when she showed kindles to a Dalek, of all things, putting him in his place? When she insisted the world doesn't end because the Doctor dances?

Maybe it was when he regenerated, and Rose wiped his sweaty brow, confused as to what the bloody hell was going on, but doing her best to go along with it.

Perhaps it was when she ran into his skinny-at-the-time arms after they nearly lost one another on the impossible planet.

Or it could have been the one and only time they made love. It was just after the "Satan" situation. Rose couldn't sleep and begged The Doctor to hold her. He wordlessly complied, even though he rarely sleeps. She whispered his name-not his real one, for one of his plentiful regrets is never telling Rose his true name-and he was filled with a rare, raw desire to claim her, to mark her as the only thing in all the universe that was _his _and no one else's.

It was the best night of his one-thousand years.

But no, none of those moments rang true in his hearts. It was the little things that made him fall in love with Rose Tyler. The laughter as they flew through the Time Vortex, the way her hand fit so well into both sets of his, and surely would fit in this latest incarnation is they had the chance. It was the twirling hugs they shared throughout time and space, her sweet smile that lit up when he did something to impress her.

"There was no moment," the Doctor finally states. "I just did."

River nods solemnly, and he knows her next question. "What happened?"

"I lost her," the Doctor answers. "The way I lose everyone."

River takes the Doctor into her arms and rubs his back, the rhythm of his hearts beating against her chest. "Did she die?"

"No," the Doctor answers. "If she had died, I-well, I don't like to think about that."

He briefly tells River of the meta-crisis Doctor and the parallel world with a sky full of zeppelins. A pang rings through his hearts as he recalls the day on Bad Wolf Bay he watched the great love of his life kiss him, but not him.

"Do you think she's happy?" River asks.

"I hope so."

"Do you want to know for sure?" River has a twinly in her eye, and the Doctor doesn't like it.

"Of course I do, but that's impossible."

"Oh, my dear Doctor, little is impossible when you live the lives we do." River points to her bracelet. "It's a trans-dimensional teleporter."

The Doctor gapes at her, wide-eyed. "What-how-"

"I know a guy," interrupts River.

"You _know _a guy?" asks the Doctor incredulously.

"Yes. We can go. It teleports two." River squeezes his hand. "You can see her again."

The Doctor can't shake the feeling that visiting his old lover with his current wife is a bad idea.

Still, he says yes.

-X-

River and the Doctor land-where else?-on Bad Wolf Bay. They catch a train to France, a Ferry to a small town in Southern England, and a bus to Cardiff. (It's a pain, not having the TARDIS.)

The Doctor is unnaturally silent for the whole trip.

"It's okay if you don't want to do this," says River.

"I do," the Doctor responds adamantly. "I-I just have to know if she's okay."

River smiles at him.

"You're a pretty fantastic wife."

"I know."

-X-

They arrive at the parallel universe's Torchwood and do some sleuthing around with the help of their sonic screwdrivers. They got in at the mention of the Doctor's name, and Mickey runs into them. He doesn't recognize the Doctor, of course, but stares at him for a moment anyway before shaking his head and continuing on his way.

They find an employee card with Rose's name and address on it.

It also presented her marital status. "She's married," breathes the Doctor. "God, I hope it's to me. Well, human-me."

They make their way to a nice townhouse about three blocks from Torchwood. When they arrive at their destination, River puts her hands on the Doctor's shoulders, for he can't seem to stand still. "Are you okay?" She asks.

"What? Oh-yes! Of course! I'm perfectly fine!" The Doctor rings his hands. "I'm perfectly fine," he repeats.

They walk up the steps and knock on the door. A tall, lanky man in glasses and a blue suit answers the door with one hand while holding a baby with the other. "Hello?"

The Doctor is speechless, for he's staring at his old self. Well, a version of it, anyway.

Luckily, River still has the power of tongue. "Hello, are you the Doctor?"

The man in the blue suit narrows his eyes at River. "I go by John Smith now, but yeah, I am." John peers at the Doctor and nods his head. "You've regenerated."

"Yes. Yes, I have." The Doctor figits around, not quite knowing what to do with his hands.

"And how did you get here?"

"Well, uh, River here,-"

"I'm his wife," River interrupts. She extends her hand out to John and he shakes it with his free one. "I have a special piece of jewelry that allowed us a trip here."

John raises his eyebrows. "Alright, then." He just accepts it-doesn't ask about fracturing holes in the universe or blowing up any suns. He just seems to understand. "Come in, yeah?"

River and the Doctor follow John into the sitting room, where he lays the sleeping baby in a pram.

"Is he your son?" River asks politely.

John smiles. "Yeah," he says proudly. "Mind and Rose's."

The Doctor takes in a sharp breath. "He's…he's a lovely child. What's his name?"

"Jackson, but we call him Jack." Both Doctor's eyes light up.

"Brilliant," says the Doctor.

"It's nice to see that you're well and meet your wife and all, but may I ask what you're doing here?" John puts his converse-laden feet on the coffee table. "You better not be here to take Rose back," he subtly threatens.

"We're not," River answers for the Doctor. "It's not possible. My bracelet only carries two, the Doctor and me. We just wanted to see if Rose was happy."

"I'm happy," comes a voice from across the room. The Doctor looks up and his breath catches. Her hair is a bit darker, and her belly is round with child, but her smile is exactly the same.

"Rose," says the Doctor. "I-"

"I've missed you too." Rose makes her way across the room, grabs the Doctor's hands, and pulls him into standing position for a hug.

The Doctor holds her for just a moment to long before John clears his throat and Rose pulls away. "It's good to see you, Doctor."

Pleasantries are exchanged, and John and Rose make sure the Doctor knows that they're just fine. Their new Tardis is nearly fully grown, and they plan to utilize it when the kids are old enough. River wins them over with her sass and charm, and the Doctor just sits there, basking in the happiness of the room.

It's the best day of his life.

When the sun sets, River says it's probably time for them to go. The Doctor nods, and Rose and John walk them to the door. Rose pulls him in for a farewell hug. "Will I ever see you again?" she asks hopefully.

"Well, I suppose never say never ever," the Doctor answers. Rose kisses his cheek and asks River to take care of him.

-X-

Later that night, back in their own Universe, the Doctor gives River a rare kiss. "Thank you," he says.

"You're welcome." River opens the door to the TARDIS. "What will you do now? I really should be going-this visit's gone on long enough."

"I have a friend I need to find."

"Ah, the mysterious Clara Oswin Oswald."

"That's the one." River smiles and turns to leave. "River?"

"Yes?" She asks as she turns around.

"I do love you," says the Doctor with a sheepish grin.

River bats her eyelashes. "I know."

-The End-


End file.
